Do they have Birthday parties in Heaven?

Today would have been Kim's 53rd birthday.  We miss her.  

We asked Mom to tell us the story of Kim's birth day.  Our memories are such treasures to us.  What I found out through Mom's retelling of the story that we got a baby sister and a horse the same day.  Life was good in 1957.

Here is the story for Hailey, Ryan, Jerome Jr (and the new baby boy due in May) of their Nana's beginnings and her 50th birthday party:

January 8, 1957
We were living on "the bottom" which is what they called living by the river west of Gretna across the road from where my parents "Will and Gladys" were building a new home.   While their home was being built they lived with us.   Gene and I had the bedroom upstairs, my folks had the larger bedroom downstairs and Jan and Terri were in the small bedroom.   This is before the house was built on to several years later.

My brother, Roland and his wife Peg had lived there before and moved to Rising City on a farm that her parents(John and Clara Peglow) had purchased.  Another brother, Harold and his wife Irma moved to the home place where the folks had lived.   

Because my parents were there, we had a built in babysitter.   I woke up with contractions and we left soon after as Jan and Terri had both been short labors.   We arrived in the parking lot at Methodist Hospital (old hospital on Cummings St.) at 3 a.m. and was in no hurry at that time.   There was an orderly who told me to get into the wheel chair and he would take me up to OB floor.   He left Gene off on main floor to admit me. As soon as the elevator door closed I had a very strong contraction.  I told the orderly the baby was coming.   I think it scared him because when we got to the floor he gave my wheelchair a push toward the nurses and said "it's coming" and he was gone.   

The nurses were used to calming things down on the OB floor.  They smiled and asked me if this was my first and when I said it was my third they moved quickly and pushed me right into the delivery room bypassing the labor.   Kim arrived before Dr. Vroman and was delivered by an intern.   She was the fastest delivery of all my children.   I didn't waste any time getting to the hospital with the next three.   

I remember someone in the delivery room saying they were glad we didn't live in Ashland because we would not have gotten to the hospital in time.   

January 8, 1957 was a cold day and there was snow on the ground.   I don't think it was near as cold or snow as deep as today.   That evening there was a horse sale in Council Bluffs and Gene went with my brothers, Bill and Merlyn.   I think this might have been when we got Penny.   

I think I came home on the fourth day.   It was nice to have built-in help when we arrived home.   

There have been many snowy, cold birthday parties during Kim's 52 birthdays.  One memorable party was when we celebrated Kim's 50th birthday on February 24, 2007 after her first round of chemo treatments this is what I wrote in my journal:

Kim's 50th Party:
Rainy day turning to snow.   Gene bought a hayrack at the Farmers Annual Sale at Fair Center.   Went to Kimmel Building at 1 p.m. to decorate for Kim's 50th Birthday Party using the "50's " theme.

Served snacks at party.   Pink Ladies dressed in pink sweatshirts with initials stitched on front.   Kim, Bella and Hailey had Poodle Skirts.  The guys greased their hair back and put a roll in their jeans and the sleeves of their white t-shirts.  Gene got a flat top hair cut for the celebration.  

Picture man took individual pictures in a picture booth.   
  
Served snacks, played bingo, hula hoop contest and newlywed game.   Lots of 50, 60 & 70's music.   

Monte was MC for the Pink Sister's show when they sang "Middle Aged Woman." 

Gabe and Tyler had to go back to Omaha early to remove snow.  Monte's, Jan's, Kim's, Katie and Liz stayed at Sleep Inn. 

It was a good party in spite of the bad snowy weather.  

SKS

A Reading from Kim's Niece

Read at the service by Katie Snyder, Kim's Niece

As I watched the rising sun Friday, I wondered who else was seeing this celestial globe and hoped they also felt its importance.  I knew that God was sending a very special red carpet welcome for Kim’s journey into the gates of Heaven.

Last night, Kim’s family welcomed hundreds of visitors coming to say goodbye and offer condolences. At one point, I stepped outside and was taken back by a line of friends, family and community stretching to the sidewalk.  I began to think about a letter I had written to Kim a week before she passed – it rang with more truth and clarity than ever.  I’d like to share what I shared with Kim on Friday, August 28th.

Kim,

I was watching some people talk about Ted Kennedy this morning and how the Kennedy family was coping with their recent loss.  They stood vigil over him last night so he would not be alone even now.  This reminded me of how proud I am of our family for being your vigilant angels and caregivers.  And for you for letting the family be there for you – sometimes we have needed that more than you might have.

I've been thinking about you, your fight with cancer, and our family even more intensely since I heard that Senator Kennedy went home to God.  The impression that Ted Kennedy left on the country and world at large can’t begin to compare to the impression you’ve already given each of us.

They talked about how Rose Kennedy told her kids to "give back more than they were given". They also talked a lot about how the Kennedy's built a strong foundation of service to others into each family member.  Special Olympics, Alzheimer’s, Civil Rights, etc.. they have touched all of our lives in ways we probably don't think about very often.

John McCain spoke about how Ted Kennedy was sincere and genuine with everyone he encountered. He regaled stories about his sense of humor at times, and his focus on his beliefs at others.  Joe Biden said that when “Teddy” talked with a person, it made that person feel like they were the most important thing in his world for that moment - that he never made the conversation about himself, but always about the person he was talking to.  He faced a lot of controversy in his past, but several of his friends this morning said that they believed he put great effort into paying penance and more for his mistakes.

All of this made me think about how the generations of our family have really done some parallel things.  We may not have family compounds or fame in the same way that they do... but we have people who volunteer, create groups to Give Back, and make sure that the people around them feel IMPORTANT every day.  We also have a great capacity to forgive and accept each other when we make mistakes.  I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been told by others how lucky we are.. how unique our family ‘culture’ is.  They are right.  And I’m stricken today by the similarities I see between the Kennedy family closeness, service to others, love, laughter and deep love for one another… and ours.  Some people don’t live a day of their lives with the love and support we might too often take for granted as part of such an amazing family.

Kim - you are all of these things and more.  I can't think of a time when you were selfish.  I can think of countless times you have given of yourself - sometimes with more than you had to give.  You always hug and kiss us.  You always tell us you love us. We never have to wonder what your intentions are - they are pure and good.  You taught us that it's OK to cry when we tell people what we are thankful for, when we are sad, when we are hurt and especially when we are overjoyed.  You showed us that every person is valuable, no matter who they are or what their background is.  You don't judge, but rather, you accept people and allow them to come to you as they are.  You are the heart and soul of what it means to be a part of this family.  You are a humble and often underappreciated angel that has graced us for so many years. You have certainly been able to shine as one of God’s children in a way that many people couldn’t imagine.  I know that He is not done with you yet – and can only imagine the peaceful glory that awaits you in His arms.  You have done the generations before and after you PROUD.  We will all look for you when our time comes… listen for the “E-AAA-KEY” when we come running to you in Heaven!

I am so proud to say that I have been able to learn about life from you.  Kenny and I will be forever changed for the better to have you in our lives.  You have given us such a beautiful legacy to uphold.  Your unending love and joy of life will be forever with us.

I love you, Kim... you are my sunshine!

Family Sharing About Kim

Read by Gail Bates and Jan Snyder at the Service

Kim’s heart was made of Gold – so very strong and courageous but yet tender and loving.  She always found time for the people around her. Even in her last week’s as we were crowded around her transport gurney in a hospital elevator…. on the way to her surgery, she would look up to ask us how a niece was that had suffered a miscarriage.  She would ask about a friend dealing with cancer.  She was happy for a fellow War Eagle princess that received good news from a scan even though she herself did not.

Kim did not put herself first – the only thing we can remember her doing for herself was to buy her set of Chocolate berry dishes and every time she got a new piece it was like Christmas all over again.  She never asked for anything nor did she need anything.  As long as she had her family and friends she felt blessed.

Kim not only loved spending time with her kids and grandkids she found activities that would create life-time memories such as planting a fairy garden with Hailey, taking JJ to his papa to ride the B-bine and singing to Ryan as she rocked him that he was her Sunshine – her only sunshine.  She loved having the kids to the farm for slumber parties. You always felt important when Nana Kim was present.

The hardest thing for Kim these past few years was the fact that her grandkids are so young and won’t be able to remember their Nana.  She decided to make sure that didn’t happen as she helped make them each a quilt and left a pocket on the back of each so we can leave them a note with what they meant to her.

When Kim was diagnosed with cancer she made the decision right there and then that if the Dr. would give her a ray of hope she would fight and that she did.  She never let a day go by without purpose.  As part of her “purposeful living” theme she never left a family gathering without a hug or an “I love you” to everyone present.  She taught us to always look for the good.

Kim would not let you get away with something if she thought it was wrong. Some might look at this as a weakness but we looked at it as strength.  She had no trouble speaking the truth but she also had no problem saying I am sorry if she knew she was wrong.  She was a protective mama bear when it came to her cubs and believe me, you did not want to mess with anyone close to her.  She was objective and fair and never took advantage of a person.

Kim loved having fun – whether it was dressing up for a Halloween party, getting down on the floor with the little ones or pretending to be a Grinch to raise money for the local community.

Relay for Life became a passion of Kim’s – she was always looking for ways our team could raise money for the fight against cancer. She knew that there would most likely not be a cure for her but she did not want the next generations of friends and family to have to fight the battle she did.

We tried to encourage her to cut back on work – she said she loved her job and that her work helped her through difficult days. Until the last few weeks Kim continued to do the orders and unload the freight truck. Kim took customer service very serious. You would know this if you've ever been with her in public and received bad service. She was quick to help "correct" the problem for the customer. She loved helping people.  Kim said she worked for the best and with great people.  She loved working for Gene.  Gene was very good to Kim and in turn, she did her best for Do It Best.

As we spent time this last few weeks sharing memories with Kim, a name of a friend, neighbor, customer or family member would come up.  Kim would always say… “I love him... or... I love her”.  It became an inside joke because she never forgot to say it.  It got to be where we would start it out…. Here is someone you love, this person just stopped by with dinner… or it might be… this person sent an email.  Her response would be, “I do love them”.  Thank you all for loving her back.

Kim was the best Daughter, Sister, Wife, Mother, Nana, Aunt, Cousin and Friend a person could ask for.  She fought her cancer not only with courage, strength and determination but with Grace and dignity. None of us know how we are going to go on without her but all of us know we will figure it out because that is what Kim would want us to do. 

Friends Memories of Kim

Friends Memories Shared at Kim's Funeral
by Nancy Seelhoff 
spokesperson for the "Fun Group"

Kim said she would like it if she could hear this, so I am reading this as I have all the faith she is.

Even before our “Fun Group” as we have recently been labeled in the past week were couples, Kim was blessing us with wonderful memories, and even before she and Shane were a couple, she was known to have spent a few evening’s down at Farley’s implement store on Midland Street, partaking of free pop and other items, with Arlyn Werner, Brad & Jeanie Farley and thinking they were pretty sneaky hiding from the police as they made their rounds. Imagine Arlyn’s surprise Saturday evening when Gail presented Arlyn back his ID bracelet Kim had failed to return many years ago.

In 1976, five couples, the Janssen’s, Farley’s, Kirchhoff’s, Werner’s and Seelhoff’s were all married. Another unique thing was that we all graduated in 1974 or 1975 from Syracuse. There have been some real high lights, and most often we were all together but, not always.

Early memories were of the husbands playing softball and loading up our kid’s Big Wheels on Saturday’s and Sunday’s spending week-ends together. Our children couldn’t imagine not being included so it became a family time and to this day still feel like we are one big happy family.

We also traveled together to places like, Lake Tahoe, Las Vegas, Kearney, Omaha, and Manhattan . Some of the short trips were labeled “pre-planning parties and Kim as always was the hostess with the mostess, at one such trip to the Embassy Suite in Omaha, was seen bringing tray after tray of drinks during their free drink hours to our rooms so we wouldn’t have to be bothered with having to purchase any ourselves later. One very wet football game in Manhattan 4 couples deciding we probably would not sleep anyway, decided to just spend it in one motel room, we enjoyed togetherness.

Some of our later trips were very special, in January of 2006 we decided to take a wonderful trip together to celebrate our 30th anniversaries and many of our 50th birthdays. We decided on Jamaica and knowing we couldn’t leave out the Hobscheidts who we had adopted into our “Fun Group” designated them the chaperones, by the way, they did a very poor job.

Kim has always been the person with the camera and Jamaica was no different and she had so many moments caught on a CD to bring back for Jess to edit for us all, what she didn’t plan on was a certain “rum run” that she and Shane went on. Having no idea there were so many flavors of rums she decided to sample them all, and bring Jeanie back her favorite. In her own words this past week she said “A little would spill, so I would drink a little and then some more would spill and I would drink a little”, needless to say I don’t think Jeannie got her drink, and some where along the way the CD was lost.

Kim being the loving person she is had our beach bar maid still calling her in Nebraska for over a year.

Our last trip this past January to the Dominican Republic, Kim stuck to Bahama Mama’s, which aren’t quite as strong and took on the job as our conseiger and did a fabulous job. This is a trip full of memories we will all cherish. Mostly because of Kim’s work of making sure we were signed up for Zip line tours, catamaran tours along one huge lobster and anything else the island had to offer.

She loved to barter with the local merchants and was quite good at it. This time she had a visitor from Canada phoning her on her return home.

Traveling isn’t all we do together, we enjoy watching Nebraska Football games, Super Bowls, grilling out, dressing up at Halloween. We loved getting together for no reason at all, one time we felt we witnessed the best impression of John Belushi in Animal House by Shane.  Kim did not see the humor in it at the time but we are sure she found it funny later.

We spent so many New Years Eve’s together.  In fact one year our children all came down with the chicken pox, and we really thought, “you know our kids are sick we should just stay home!” , but then thought “no, let’s just find a couple of baby sitters that have had the chicken pox, and go out anyway”, after all the kids would miss being together.  

Each other’s children’s high school sporting events were something we never even considered missing, you support each others children, that is what Good friends do. Kim loves athletics and will be sorely missed by the Rockets!

Another special event we do each year around the 4th of July is the Janssen open, a very fun golf tournament we all try to attend along with our children. Even this past July, Kim was golfing with the best and worst of us. Making sure to take the time to talk to all the kids and we are pretty certain she didn’t miss one.

Even before there was the Fun Group, Kim and I have been great friends, it all started about 43 years ago. We became the Goering and Scheef girls, my sister Sue and Terri were the same age, Kim and I and then Mary and Gail. We enjoyed everything Burr and 4-H had to offer, counties fairs being the high light. It seemed Kim and I were always in trouble with our parents.  We probably were not, it sure seemed like it at the time.  In our defense… if Terri and Sue would have just done a couple of things wrong they could have paved the way for us like we did for Mary and Gail.

But any respects we have remained friends through all these years.  Along with taking part in each others weddings, she recently cut the cake at my daughters wedding and helped make her a special wedding hat, something we both cherish.

Friends are suppose to be there for each other in good times and bad and 3 years ago we were all ready to step up to the plate for Kim, but rarely if ever did we see her without a smile on her face and looking anything but healthy, even though we know she was hurting physically and emotionally.

Kim was determined to find the fun in life and she did. It was then we realized what it really meant to be a Hero and you Kim, have become ours. Kim we love you and cherish this friendship and these memories and so very many more.

We all just want to say on last thing, “ Kim, we hope you are Dancing in the Moonlight

From Kim's Funeral Service - Part 2...

A Tribute to Kim for Community Service
    by Karen Hassler

Today we are reflecting on Kim’s community contributions of 30 plus years of service to our surrounding communities. As we celebrate her life we know that Kim loved the communities she lived and worked in. You notice I said communities because Kim’s life touched thousands of households in Otoe, Cass, Johnson, Lancaster counties and beyond. It is safe to say that Kim’s hands and heart touched everyone that ever shopped at Wheeler’s, True Value and Do it best. I’m sure everyone who is here today has an item in your home, business or farm that Kim has assisted you in finding for just the right use. We all have a kindred connection to Kim so it is only right to honor Kim’s community contributions.

Kim’s community involvement began as a young woman as she stepped into the role of wife, mother and hardware queen! I’m pretty certain Kim didn’t know what God had planned for her over the next 30-some years but that didn’t matter she just went where she was led…..after a stint with Wheeler’s in the early years-Gene Mercer was blessed to find Kim and hired her to work at True Value, which much later became Do It Best. It is only fitting as I think Do it best describes Kim perfectly as she did only her best. She was able to achieve success in her ‘career” because it never was about Kim-only about others. Through out her career  True Value/ Do it Best became “command central” for Kim’s community crusade….She never ever shied away from a chance to help others- NO was not a word in her vocabulary and her reply was always a sunny, “ what can I do for you?” Kim was very adept at persuading just about anyone, especially family, friends  and Gene Mercer into joining her crusade.

As CCC-chief community crusader, Kim was an activist. Her friends and colleagues have dubbed her the “great ambassador” for her endless promotion of her hometown and shopping in town.

One of Kim’s most profound and lasting achievements was as the leader of the Chamber’s Retail Trade committee-the purpose was to bring chamber businesses together and promote the community. Long before this committee was formed Kim spearheaded numerous Chamber committees. She was a “selfless promoter” of the Chamber’s activities such as Germanfest, Tannenbaum, pancake feeds and many other events sponsored by the Chamber of Commerce. Kim went to great lengths to do anything to promote these events, such as running for the Tannenbaum Grinchette, what fun she had and at the same time raised money for the food bank. You can see why she honored as Chamber Member of the year.…her chamber peers honored Kim with these words of praise-Kim worked endlessly and tirelessly to promote the community-invaluable member-selfless-worked tirelessly-contagious enthusiasm-which brings me to her perky and positive outlook on life…her energy was contagious!

Because of her endless energy and positive personality Kim was able to move many to join her in her crusade-Get folks into Syracuse knowing that would keep the community vital.

Through Command Central Kim was able to donate hundreds of hours in volunteer time to many organizations, such as Jaycees, Rocket sports booster, FFA booster, 4-H, and many other events as well as thousands of dollars of in-kind donations to every club, school group, school activity and fund raisers for non-profits, church groups in Otoe and the surrounding counties. You got a cookbook to sell-ask Kim. You have  tickets to sell… ask Kim. What about prom…ask Kim. Home Town Variety has been home to countless fundraisers for non-profits, community groups, and church groups at no cost to the group. As a perennial Rocket booster Kim insisted on stocking Rocket themed merchandise so locals could show spirit!

I don’t suppose Kim ever realized that her life was the life God had planned for her nor did she realize that she was doing God’s will. Thanks Kim for your life of community service. One thing for certain God had a bright, glittery, sparkly crown waiting for you- fit for a queen-our hardware queen.

From Kim's Funeral Service...

Words of Comfort by Pastor Jackie K. Tjarks

"Well done, good and faithful servant!" Matthew 25:14-23

"...in my father's house there are many rooms..." John 14:1-7

At a time like this, at a death like this, we find ourselves lost in a sea of mixed emotions, and only God can save us.

On one hand, we're glad to have been blessed by the presence of such a one as Kim in this life at all, and relieved that she has been relieved of suffering;

On the other hand, how can you not wish and want someone back who was such a one as Kim?

This is a contradiction that you who love her will have to live with until Kim greets you with a shout, hug and smile on the other side. Kim has indeed taken up residence in the room God prepared for her in His great heavenly house; but I'm fairly certain that she hasn't spent much time there because she probably assigned herself to the meet and greet committee, helping other souls find their way to their rooms. You can take the girl out of retail but you can't take the retail out of the girl.

I didn't know Kim well at all, but you can tell a lot about someone by looking at the company they keep, and frankly the company that Kim kept was formidable, with Shane and the kids and grandkids at the core. Just by themselves the sisters were a force to be reckoned with, standing up defiantly shoulder to shoulder with Kim as you did. Cancer had never met a more intimidating opponent.

But between all of the family and the community- at- large who fought and gave and prayed on Kim's behalf, you must know that a higher power flowed among you, a spirit that said no to the power of death and darkness just as God says no to death and darkness through the cross of Jesus Christ.

But there was a time when such things were far from anyone's mind. Before the cancer, before the treatments, before Team Kim ever hit the road, back when it was Shane and the kids and grandkids and family and retail that anchored Kim's life, it was just that...Kim's life...that said no to the powers of darkness and death simply because Kim said yes to life so vigorously. She had a way of acknowledging the "giftedness" of living that really was inspirational, so I hear. I didn't know her then, but your stories today say that this is true.

And it can remain true, even as you who love her swim through this sea off mixed emotions. Because, when someone we love dies, we honor them by taking the best of them and making it our own.

So today we remember Kim the fighter, Kim the lover of life, Kim the good and faithful servant, Kim the believer in the promises of God and the promises themselves, the promise to lift us all out of death, just as He lifted Kim from death on the wings of an amazing sunrise into the home of God. God has saved Kim from sin and suffering and from this sea of grief and relief will save us, too. All these things we become and do and believe if we wish to honor Kim and the God who loves her, even past death, even as she takes up residence in that great, merciful and joyous house of God.

Let us pray: For the life of Kim Scheef Kirchhoff, heavenly Father, we give you thanks.  May everything good and generous about Kim make a home in each of us.  And may your Holy Spirit continue to work its loving, formidable power so that our grief may be balanced with joy, our hearts healed by your assurance that we will all meet again in the home which you have prepared for all who believe in you. In the name of Christ we pray...Amen.